Weird Dreams

Last night I had this really strange dream where my dad was chasing me around trying to convince me to go visit my grandma for dinner. I kept running away and refusing to go. It was strange because the dream took place at UBC and I was taking the bus to get away from him. Afterwards I felt so guilty about not going. I woke up feeling as if I was abandoning my parents. 

To be honest, I haven't really interacted much with them since getting married. I've seen then a handful of times since coming back from Vancouver. But since the summer it's been a little awkward because every time I see my parents the conversation always steers towards my sister and how she is doing. I think part of me just can't handle it anymore. I don't have the energy to solve my family problems anymore and get into their mess. 

I think the struggle for me since getting married is that I need to find the balance between my time with Michelle and how I relate with my family. My parents have been really good in not demanding a lot from us (which is something I appreciate) but I have trouble with not feeling guilty about the freedom I have. Part of me of course wants to spend time with them. But whenever we do, I always feel guilty for their problems. I dont' want to feel guilty anymore. I just want to be their son and brother.

This morning Michelle and I were talking about Faith, Hope, and Love and how one day there won't be a need for faith and hope anymore because we'll be redeemed in heaven. We will just have love- the love of God that we will bask in and the love of fellowship that we share. Those are things I look forward to. Right now I'm finding it hard to have faith to hope for that. I need to be reminded that our God is good and does keep His promises. He promises to redeem and make all things new (2 Cor 5:17), and promises that one day there will be no sadness or weeping (Rev 21:3-4). Please pray I'll remember that.